If You Love Your Abuser, You May Have Stockholm Syndrome

Have you ever wondered why someone stays in a bad relationship? Have you ever wondered why a victim that has been kidnapped stays with the perpetrator long after the victim had many opportunities to leave?

One study found that 96.9% of sexual abuse survivors and 100% of ritual abuse survivors were threatened with harm by their abusers, and further that 75% of sexual abuse survivors and 94.1% of ritual abuse survivors were told by their abusers that they would be killed. [http://www.heart7.net/captivity-stockholm-syndrome.html]

On August 23rd, 1973 two machine-gun carrying criminals entered a bank in Stockholm, Sweden. Blasting their guns, one prison escapee named Jan-Erik Olsson announced to the terrified bank employees "The party has just begun!" The two bank robbers held four hostages, three women and one man, for the next 131 hours. The hostages were strapped with dynamite and held in a bank vault until finally rescued on August 28th.

After their rescue, the hostages exhibited a shocking attitude considering they were threatened, abused, and feared for their lives for over five days. In their media interviews, it was clear that they supported their captors and actually feared law enforcement personnel who came to their rescue. The hostages had begun to feel the captors were actually protecting them from the police. One woman later became engaged to one of the criminals and another developed a legal defense fund to aid in their criminal defense fees. Clearly, the hostages had "bonded" emotionally with their captors.

While the psychological condition in hostage situations became known as "Stockholm Syndrome" due to the publicity – the emotional "bonding" with captors was a familiar story in psychology. [http://www.mental-health-matters.com]

• Abused Children
• Battered/Abused Women
• Prisoners of War
• Cult Members
• Incest Victims
• Criminal Hostage Situations
• Concentration Camp Prisoners
• Controlling/Intimidating Relationships

^{This is a key element in Stockholm Syndrome. Cognitive Dissonance" explains how and why people change their ideas and opinions to supportsituations that do not appear to be healthy, positive, or normal. In the theory, an individual seeks to reduce information or opinions that make him or her uncomfortable. When we have two sets of cognition (knowledge, opinion, feelings, input from others, etc.) that are the opposite, the situation becomes emotionally uncomfortable.}  

^{An example of cognitive dissonance where one would by a very expensive vehicle and justify the purchase as being a long term investment.Perhaps this car may have some valid investment returns. However,one doesn't require the need of spending an extra $30K for a car when a cheaper car that fits your budget is sufficient. You may actually nee a sports utility truck instead because you haul goods everywhere and the car is not actually meeting those needs, or the opposite is actually the case.}

_{Emotional Investment – We've invested so many emotions, cried so much, and worried so much that we feel we must see the relationship through to the finish.}

_{Social Investment – We've got our pride! To avoid social embarrassment and uncomfortable social situations, we remain in the relationship.}

_{Family Investments – If children are present in the relationship, decisions regarding the relationship are clouded by the status and needs of the children.}

_{Financial Investment – In many cases, the controlling and abusive partner has created a complex financial situation. Many victims remain in a bad relationship, waiting for a better financial situation to develop that would make their departure and detachment easier.}

_{Lifestyle Investment – Many controlling/abusive partners use money or a lifestyle as an investment. Victims in this situation may not want to lose their current lifestyle.}

_{Intimacy Investment – We often invest emotional and sexual intimacy. Some victims have experienced a destruction of their emotional and/or sexual self-esteem in the unhealthy relationship. The abusing partner may threaten to spread rumors or tell intimate details or secrets. A type of blackmail using intimacy is often found in these situations.}